Steel City Pops
A sweet treat with an even sweeter story! Steel City Pops was born in 2012 after a family decided to turn all of their time and effort towards creating delicious popsicles modeled after the paleta. Now in over 23 locations across the southeast, Steel City Pops is gracing everyone with their fresh and one-of-a-kind pops. They’re the perfect summertime treat in this Texas heat!
The ideal blend of lawn maintenance and children’s entertainment, now in the delightfully huge form of a Tim Duncan-sized inflatable unicorn. Just avoid Red Bull while you’re near it.
The San Antonio Zoo remains an affordable, entertaining place to enjoy an afternoon. There’s even alcohol with which to drown your envy towards all those animals with their small, well-behaved children.
Fight the heat on the Gully Washer, leave your kids in the Tasmanian Devil’s tender care on Taz’s Tornado, or dislodge stubborn kidney stones on the Rattler. Plus, smartphones make waiting in line far less of a chore than it used to be; no longer will you have to imagine various improbable calamities befalling those in front of you to pass the time.
Affordable, effective sun protection that doesn’t leave your face feeling like the Exxon Valdez. No relation to Gwyneth Paltrow’s venture, either, so no need to worry about toxins or poltergeists or whatever else those things are supposed to fix.
Mommy and Me Swimsuits from Batoko
Like a proud mother bird, deck your child out in matching finery such that when she displays her excellence at the beach or pool, all the plebeians there will know that you created that fine specimen of humanity. Makes picking her out of a crowd easier too, I guess.
The Pearl still caters to most of your summer needs, be they food, clothing, or the burning desire to pet as many dogs as possible. Keep an eye out for roaming scooters, though; those things hunt in packs and prey on unsuspecting shins.
Hemisfair Splash Pad
All the fun of a waterpark without the large lines or worrying amounts of urine. A great place to cool down, burn off some of the ankle-biters’ energy, and appreciate that even downtown San Antonio has a place worth braving the traffic to get to.
Kids’ Cooking Class
Kids’ hobbies tend towards the destructive, so instilling a love of creation is a good move both emotionally and financially. Still, I’d hold off on the pressure cooker for now.
Air conditioning and all the educational doodads a child could want make the DoSeum an ideal summer destination. Just don’t let them know it’s all educational; seeing as they’re not due back in school for a couple of months, you might get some backlash.
Sea World Turtles
SeaWorld San Antonio recently introduced its rescued sea turtle exhibit, so as long as you can stomach your children’s incessant Finding Nemo quotes, you’re free to enjoy this with a clean conscience. There’s also a couple of new rides to put them on if you need a minute or two alone.